What Should I Do If My Child’s Parent Violates the Custody Order?

What Should I Do If My Child’s Parent Violates the Custody Order?

Finding out your child’s other parent has violated your custody order can leave you feeling powerless, angry, or scared. You might be tempted to start a fight, but it’s important to remember that you do have legal options available to protect both your child and your parental rights.

At Lucido & Manzella, we’ve helped parents resolve tough custody issues for over 25 years. We’ve helped with everything from relocations to high-conflict custody battles. Here’s exactly what steps you should take when facing a custody order violation.

Stay Calm and Document Everything

Your first instinct might be to react emotionally, but staying calm serves both your child’s well-being and your legal case. Courts make decisions based on evidence, not feelings.

Start documenting immediately:

• Record exact dates and times of missed visits or withheld custody
• Save screenshots of texts, emails, or call logs
• Write detailed notes about what was said and who witnessed it
• Keep receipts for any expenses caused by the violation

This documentation becomes crucial evidence that courts rely on when making decisions.

Review Your Existing Custody Order

Before taking action, carefully examine your custody and parenting time order. Ask yourself these key questions:

• Is your ex violating a specific clause in the order?
• Are the terms clear, or could they be interpreted differently?
• Does the order address holidays, transportation, and other details?

Understanding whether you’re dealing with a genuine violation versus a misunderstanding matters legally. Courts treat willful violations differently from simple confusion about unclear terms.

Try Peaceful Resolution First (If Safe)

If there’s no history of abuse or danger, attempt direct communication before escalating to court. Send a calm message clarifying expectations and offering practical solutions like make-up time for missed visits.

Document these communication efforts! Courts favor cooperative parents who try to resolve issues without immediately involving the legal system. However, if communication isn’t safe or possible, skip this step entirely.

Contact a Family Law Attorney

Legal guidance becomes essential at this stage. An experienced attorney can help you understand your rights, evaluate the strength of your case, and guide you through evidence gathering.

File a Motion to Enforce or Show Cause

This formal court request asks the judge to hold the other parent accountable. The process typically includes submitting your violation documentation and possibly attending a hearing.

Potential outcomes include:

• Court-ordered make-up parenting time
• Fines or sanctions against the violating parent
• Modification of the custody order for serious or repeated violations
• Contempt of court penalties

Consider Law Enforcement When Necessary

Contact the police only in specific situations:

• Your child is being unlawfully withheld against the court order
• You believe your child faces immediate danger
• There’s a risk of parental abduction

Remember, not all custody issues are criminal matters. Police may refer you back to family court unless there’s a clear safety concern.

Focus on Your Child’s Well-Being

While pursuing legal remedies, prioritize your child’s emotional health. Keep their routines stable, avoid speaking negatively about the other parent in front of them, and consider counseling if the situation causes distress.

You Don’t Have to Face This Alone

Custody order violations are serious matters that require prompt, strategic action. Document everything, review your order carefully, attempt peaceful resolution when safe, and seek experienced legal help.

You have the right to protect your child and enforce court decisions. Contact Lucido & Manzella, your trusted child custody attorneys, for guidance and advocacy through every step of this challenging process.